


When Everything Goes to Shit

by I_am_a_mess



Series: Trans Yoongi [2]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Arguments, Betrayal, Hurt No Comfort, Other, Rants, Swearing, Teenage Drama, Trans Male Character, trans!yoongi, yoongi is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 17:13:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12988659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_mess/pseuds/I_am_a_mess
Summary: It's come to that point where Yoongi could say with 100% certainty that everything hadgone to shit.





	When Everything Goes to Shit

It wasn't like 17 year old Yoongi intended for this to happen. Quite, the contrary, in fact. But in the last couple of months, his life had gone to shit. Literally.

Yoongi is a trans boy.

Now, now hold up! That's definitely  not  why his life went to shit, but let's say it's a contributing factor.

Yoongi's life is lonely now, he thinks. 

Merely a few weeks ago, his life was turned upside down when his friendship group fell out. It was a stupid reason that didn't even concern him, and he can't help but feel rage when he thinks about how it all turned out. It's hard for him to keep the emotions in sometimes, resulting in him shoving his earbuds in and blasting music for a while until the feelings go away. 

He doesn't know what stings more: the fact that his friends fell out and don't talk to him anymore, or the fact that his best friend Namjoon, who he'd known for  thirteen years  was ignoring him, blocking him on every social media site. 

It's been about two months now, and Yoongi still doesn't know why. Well... he's heard excuses. 

"He said he just can't deal with this anymore." Taehyung said.  The only person other than Jimin who'll still speak to him. 

Their friendship group had been teetering on edge for some time now, each person getting more wound up but nobody ever said anything, resulting in the entire group just  snapping  whilst Yoongi wasn't there. 

He returned to college the following Monday conflicted and more than a bit confused on what had happened. 

"Don't worry." Namjoon said at the bus stop. "We won't make you choose what group to hang out with. We won't be offended if you see the others." 

The following weekend, Yoongi was blocked from seeing any of Namjoon's snapchats or his facebook profile with no explanation or trigger cause. Yoongi didn't even know there was anything wrong. 

Yes, Yoongi truly was lonely by that point, but the worst was far from over. 

By happy coincidence, their huge fall out happened just over a week before his 18th birthday. The birthday he'd planned to spend with everyone. The birthday he was going to use to his advantage by coming out to his friends as transgender. What better opportunity to come out to his friends who he cared dearly for than when they were all together in one place? At that time, only Namjoon was aware about his trans identity. It took Yoongi three whole years to speak to his friend about it, finally having the confidence to tell someone... only to have it thrown back in his face a couple of months later. 

To say Yoongi was hurt would be an understatement. He was disappointed in Namjoon. 

So instead of all that, Yoongi spent an hour on his 18th birthday crying in his room, feeling shittier than he'd ever felt. 

He was closeted once again, having nobody to talk to about any of his trans issues. Any dysphoria he had all had to be locked away. Every day from then on felt like he was a ticking time bomb, so full of anger and rage and disappointment and  fuck  it  hurt  but there was nothing he could do about it. 

People told him to just speak to Namjoon, ask him what was wrong. It seems logical, right? 

But he couldn't. 

Just looking in Namjoon's general direction hurt him. He felt if he brought the topic up, he'd just get angry and say things he'd regret. He felt  betrayed  by him, and he didn't want to go saying things he'd regret. So he left it. With a heavy heart, he left his once best friend behind. 

... 

It's been several months since the argument. Yoongi still doesn't know what happened. 

At this point, he doesn't think anyone does. 

He still sees Namjoon in the corridors along with his old friends who'd joined the "boycott Yoongi" club. He still doesn't know why they don't talk to him, especially when he'd never been part of the argument in the first place. He supposed it didn't matter now - he'd lost respect for them weeks ago. 

Tae and Jimin still speak to him though, which is nice. 

He'd managed to come out to them after not being able to handle the intensity of his transliness anymore. They'd taken it well but it was on a bitter note for Yoongi. He still resented Namjoon for leaving him to deal with it on his own. Yoongi was well aware Namjoon had his own problems, but the way he'd handled the entire situation was just plain selfish in his opinion. 

So yes, Yoongi's life had gone to shit. And no, it wasn't because he was trans. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a rant fic don't mind me :) Pls leave comments below letting me know what you think I'd actually really appreciate it. <3


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